18.March.2015

I would hate to be a little girl again, exploring browser games for the first time. Have you seen the type of creepy games that are out there for girls now? It's no longer normal "dress-up" games where you get to put princesses in the outfits they wore in the films, it is now a lot more twisted. There are so many categories out there which make me question browser game developers worldwide. Why do little girls need pregnancy games? Why do little girls need love games, and dating games? There's a constant debate about what children should be able to see and play, and some of these browser games I felt weird playing, and I'm a grown-ass woman!

Dial for Love - Dial a stranger for love by dialing random digits on the phone you beautified just a moment ago! Whoever you call will give you a gift, because THIS is how love works. Remember, this is a game for children. What society is clearly saying to young girls is be vain and only care for what gifts the guy who's interested in you can give you. Suitable for young, materialistic girls around the globe!

The Now and Then Sweet Sixteen Princess Dressing Up series - Want to dress your favourite disney princess up for what can be seen in the US as the happiest day in a sixteen year old girl's life? Now you can, with the Now and Then Sweet Sixteen Princess Dressing Up games! Not only can you dress them in clothes suitable for when their characters are actually from in time, but you can also dress them in clothes that are much shorter that are supposed to represent MODERN clothes for teenage girls. You'll also see when you hit the modern versions of the princesses that not only are their outfits tinier, they're now covered in make-up, which is clearly a necessity for every modern teenage girl! What's that, you want to be a normal girl who doesn't have to spend hours applying more layers to the face than the outfit you're wearing? Every dressing up game ever tells you it's wrong!

Anna Beard Shaving - I didn't know Disney Frozen's Anna had a beard until this game, but once I learnt that she did I had every urge to shave the hell out of it! Personally, I'm surprised it isn't a ginger beard, since that's supposed to be her natural colour. I'm guessing the carpets may not match the drapes in this story. According to the story of the game some illness gave Anna a beard - I'm starting to think maybe she just liked steroids in her chocolates. As bad as the English is in this game, and how crap the actual actions are, I would rate it up there with some of the best shaving games of this century. You can also play Elsa Beard Shaving, if you loved this game so much!

Vanna Vlog - I opened up this game assuming it was about vlogging, and I was instantly hit with a rather detailed emo rack on my screen. This game claims to be about a "fashion" vlogger, but is essentially just a dress-up game with a different type of girl than usual. She's still covered in make-up with her tits on show, but now it's for a purpose, she's an "online star". This game could have easily been more fun and original, but it sank into the typical category of "girl games" which means make-up, clothes and "love".

Frozen Tooth Problems - Learn how to be a dentest today by pulling out your favourite character's canines, molars and incisors! Pull out their black teeth, drill out the cavities and give them the cleaning of a life time!... In what world is this a normal game? Dentists are highly-paid torturers in anyone's books, will we be teaching children how to waterboard next? The tools it offers you to use for the procedures are literally something you see in torture scenes in gangster/mobster films! In Grand Theft Auto, Trever uses some of this equipment! This is the type of game that gives me nightmares because people get paid to make this type of stuff. 

Elsa Birth Surgery - Have you, as a young girl, ever wondered what a Caesarean looked like? Well, in this game starring the Frozen Queen herself you can see just how it is performed, in a way! It is your duty to help bring Jack Frost's and Elsa's baby into this world by cutting into her womb with a scalpel and pulling the baby out! I guess this game isn't as bad as seeing Elsa PUSH the baby out, like some of the other Pregnancy/Labour games that exist on the internet, but this game is still up there for weird and creepy. At no point in my life, not even if I ever decide that I want to have kids, do I want to see another individual giving birth in any way. The game may not go into much detail about the process, but it still made me nauseous to play it even briefly.